So I learned Monday that eggs over easy served cold can lead to food poisoning.
Go figure.

At least it let me catch up on my readings.
For your reading pleasure, a lil' ditty I came across in my literary travels.

Your one true love's a sailing ship
That anchors at our pier.
We lift her sails, we man her decks,
We scrub the portholes clear;

And yes, out lighthouse shines for her,
And yes, our shores are warm;
We steer her into harbor,
Any port in a storm.

The sailors stand upon the docks,
The sailors stand in line,
As thirsty as a a dwarf for gold
Or centaurs for cheap wine.

For all the sailors love her,
And flock to where she's moored,
Each Man hoping that he might
Go down, all hands on board.

Standard repost for the non-myspace crowds

And then there's me v2.0

Two things.

One: Mime School.
Yes.
I'm a classically trained mime.
But that was one semester in a required course for my college major (Theatre Arts) at the time.
Luckily, our final where we had to perform around campus was rained out.

Two.
I just noticed that my blogs might not give as much insight into me as I'd like 'em too.
I also noticed that I could solve that by answering the questions to my first rough draft of "The Application to Date my Daughter".
(ed. note: refer to archives)
New questions added marked w/ an asterix.

Enjoy.
Just to let you know, I wouldn't let my daughter date a guy that gave these answers.
Assuming I have a daughter and/or offspring.
Well, actually I would.
Because there's probably a bribed involved.

Name: Reginald Pam-Ut Mose
Birthdate: 06/05/1982
Occupation: Sales/Performer/Host/Bartender
Shoe Size: 11
Contact Information: [c]***.***.****

1. Do You know the answer to this question?
Always.

2. How did you meet our daughter?
Craigslist, under the casual encounter sections.

3. What color was her underwear that day?
Apparently commando.

4. Honest opinion, what do you think of her?
She has teeth.

5. Have any sexual scenarios played out in your mind involving her yet?
5a. If so, how many and please describe one in great detail.
As a fine gentleman raised Catholic an' brought up by Disney movies, no.

6. How many wet dreams have involved her so far?
N/A

7. Did you know her father killed a man once? On purpose.
It's a tale that's whispered throughout the people.

8. You do realize there's enough room in the backyard to bury one more body right?
Yes.
An' I happen to be 6'2 an' 170lbs at the moment.

9. What were you doing a year ago from today?
At this hour, probably sleeping or thinking about it.

10. Do you know the muffin man?
We go way back.
It's muffin much.

11. If you had 5 words to describe yourself, use two of them now.
Corgi.
Fan.

12. What do you plan to do with your life?
Be content.

13. Do you like my throwing knife collection? I keep them sharpened daily.
I'm a bigger fan of the ones you can throw directly from a wrist sleeve.

14. My wife has a great rack doesn't she?
I love spice racks!

15. Do you think that's why my daughter enjoys wearing low-cut tops?
If by low-cut you mean turtle necks....

16. If I tell you I want my daughter home by 11pm you have her home by...?
10:45pm

17. Do you believe in Scientology? Noooooooo.
If yes, please consider application void and vacate premises immediately.

18. What is your general plan for the first date?
Coffee/boba.
Something casual to just converse w/o the influence of alcohol.

19. Are you expecting physical intimacy? Not on the first date.
19b. If so, what kind and for how long? Handshake, or if I like 'em: kiss on the back of the hand.

20. What's the number for 911?
911.
But if you're usin' an internet phone, let it be known you're not gonna get the local authorities.

21. Do you have insurance?
Auto.
Eventually Love.

22. Lakers fan?
Since birth. I still remember the Great Western forum.

23. Chargers fan?
Yup. Just not the GM.

24. Fan of Bill Walton?
That's a dirty word we don't say around grandpa.

25. Do you like penguins?
Moist definitely.

*26. Have you ever taken prescription drugs or PCP?
Yes.
Wait.... huh?!

*27. Were you a mistake child?
Either that or adopted.

*28. Do you carry condoms?
I'm okay w/ buying some if needed.
But that's further down a relationship.
I do get regular checkups an' am a constant blood donor.
I'm good to go.

*29. Would you ever willingly karaoke anything from the musical Grease?
Good lord no!

*30. Can you show legal documents to prove that your are a citizen of the United States?
Yup.

*31. Have you had any convictions in the past 24 months?
Nope.

*32. Is your sex on fire?
Not that I know of.

And finally, a multiple choice question:
*33. If a father has room in his trunk for only one dead body and he has three(3) in total, how does he disperse of the bodies?

a) separate trips to the desert.
b) chop the bodies to maximize trunk space.
c) impromptu BBQ in the backyard.
d) take up embalming as a hobby.
e) live in denial.
f) be glad he's friend w/ the local law enforcement.

Hmm...
g) all of the above?

I handwash my car, it rains.
Go figure.
Plan is to get more posts out there eventually.

I just found myself distracted by personal issues.
My bad.

Eventually we'll all be getting out of this funk.
I'll be there to drink in celebration.

Turns out it's taken me longer to get my comp back to normal.
It's fun to have 93GBs worth of music an' no way to hear 'em.

Consider this a filler post.
One of the more elaborate pick-up lines I've run across in song format.
Courtesy of John Legend an' his most recent album.

Quickly (feat. Brandy)

Oh, news said
Oh yea...

If I had twenty million dollars in a vault somewhere baby, it wouldn't matter anyway
Cause the doctor told me that I'm dying slowly
So I guess I got to love you while I'm here baby
Did you know...

The news said that the sky is falling, the globe is warming
Countries warring, leaders are lying, time is running
Nowhere to go baby, nowhere to go

I know we just met but baby could you love me quickly, quickly
I... want you to love me like you know the world is about to end baby, quickly

You said you didn't even know my name, but
Told me we might as well make ours the same
What do you think baby (no time)
Think it might as well be light years away, ohhh
We just better land on the stars before they come crashing down cause I heard the news say...

The news said the sky is falling, the globe is warming
Countries warring, leaders are lying, time is running
Nowhere to go baby nowhere to go

I know we just met but baby could you love me quickly, quickly
I... want you to love me like you know the world is about to end baby, quickly

Yea that's right baby kiss me like the world is quaking
Do it like the earth is shaking
You got it baby, that's right lovely
Fill me like our time is sprinting faster running out of time

I know we just met but baby could you love me quickly, quickly
I... want you to love me like you know the world is about to end baby, quickly

Oh
You barely know me baby but you gotta love me quickly, quickly
Oh yea
You gotta love me like you know the world's about to end baby quickly, quickly
Oh you gotta love me
(Oh you gotta love me)
Gotta love me right now
Oh yea
Like the world's about to end baby quickly, quickly now

News said the sky's falling (quickly now)
Love me
Love me...
-------------------------------

And because you're all such big fans of pick-up lines...
Bartender friend introduced me to one of his co-workers.
We played guess my ethnic background.
When it was my turn I told her "you're probably not mixed, because you're 100% beautiful."

Happy belated everything everyone.
Comp has been having some issues as of late.
Lately, I've been having to run Windows in Safe Mode.
Not the most ideal way to post.

More headed your way after the weekend.
Thanks for your patience.

I just wanted to re-affirm with everybody that reads this that a 6'2 Reggie does not fit well into a Mazda Miata.

That is all.

So apparently red wine can make me consistently buzzed.
That or my secondary home/favoritest bar in the whole world Penny Lane.

It's probably just a combination of the two.

Point of this post:
Mini-churros from Jack In the Box still taste a-MAZE-ing.
Even if you're on the crapper realizing you ate too much the day before.

Seriously?
That was the life defining moment of this blurb?
Well, no.
I just wanted to let you know that more posts were on the way.
I just need to finish editing the pieces.

Take care, happy holidays, stay out of jail, an' all that other good stuff peeps.

For your reading pleasure, things I would never add to an online dating profile.
Unless my intent was to confuse/scare people away.

About me:
Single, bigger then the average Asian penis seeks playmate for bedtime stories and/or late-night activities.
Must be a woman or at least look like one after intense alcohol intake.

Ideal first date:
Lying topless on the couch, counting each others chest hairs.

I'm getting lots of hits w/ my actual dating profile.
Problem I'm finding is that the ones I share a definite interest in happen to live at a distance that some would consider booty call status.
The gas used would probably end up costing more then condoms.

If only I was into casual sex.

Wouldn't it be nice if the ladies that used the word "Sexy" in their profile name actually were.
Tricky, tricky.

It's finally upon us.
Good ol' Thanksgiving Day.
Or as one friend put it, "kill all the natives an' take their land day."
What another one describes as "mass turkeycide day."
Possibly a day that celebrates obesity.
I just know that I'm probably not the only person that fasted in preparation for today.

Ready to gain 20lbs.
Then lose 15lbs the next morning.

Deuces for Peace.
Think about it.
Eventually you'll get it.
Then you'll question yourself on why you still bother to read my posts.
Somebody does, that's why I keep writing 'em.

May your day be blessed, happy, full of grub, an' reminders of why you should be thankful for the things that matter.

I'm ready to start gearin' up for some grub-hopping.

Sometimes I get convinced to freestyle.
This would be the end result.
I should probably turns this into a spoken word piece.

*ding dong*

Man...
I can't answer the door
I'm stuck in the crapper
Ringin' the bell furiously won't make me answer any faster.

I'm like grunt grunt puuush
Nothing's coming out
I'm straining too much
I'm about to scream an' shout
"Heeey yo!
I'll be out there in a bit.
I just find myself sitting here
Dealing with some shit."

But man
Why's this gotta happen to me?
It's supposed to be a first date
With this queen beeeeeee
Cup princess
I want to be outside talkin' 'bout her dress
Her curves on display, she's almost spillin' out
Miracle wonder bra pushing out

Her breastesses
Oh yes indeedy
You know the way they jiggle's guaranteed to please me

But damn
I've only heard one splash
I'm starting to wonder now if there's a problem with my ass

Roll Roll
Rip Wipe
I decided to stop halfway and begin our night
Flush Swirl
Here we go
I'm good to go, ready to impress this girl.

Hold up wait
Is there a draft in here?
I take a lil' moment to make my mind clear
My taxes are paid an' my oven's off
A few seconds later I let out a scoff
Is this the type of guy you're looking for?
I forgot my pants were still on the floor.

One leg Two leg
Button up
Ziiiiip
Holla at cha boy looking all hip
Tie's set
Hair's great
Hell yes this man is worth the wait

Open the door
"Hey hon how you doing?"
"You all ready to begin our night of wooing?"
Yes is her reply as she let's out a smile.
I can't help myself from thinking I really like her style.
Which makes me down to follow her night's demands
Just wish I could remember if I washed my hands.
-------------------------

Yea.
I'm blanking on a possible title.

so yea, I've officially had a new number for a good month or so.
I just forgot to let the masses know.

was it for personal reasons?
did it involve my first ex?
probably.

sadly, no text messaging.
I'm suffering w/ withdrawals at the moment.

on a sidenote:
mini churros from Jack in the Box....
a-MAZE-ing.
seriously.
real talk.
scrum-diliumpcious.
they're butt-fuckingly great.

so much that I want to order a heapload of 'em, build a mini-churros cabin out of 'em an' just devour 'it after I finish placing the chimney.

that's right.
I said it.
I'm open to blind dates.
peace easy everyone.

can we exchange contact info?
yes we can.

A part of me wonders if it's possible to get extensions for my moustache.

Nothing special to this post.
I misplaced my notebook.
Although I do remember two gems from the past couple weeks.

During the middle of a morning jog, I ran into a "Vote Yes on Prop 8" rally group.
I asked them if voting no on Prop 8 was gay.
They didn't appreciate the joke.

My friend and I noticed that alot of women these days are into vampire romance.
Personally, I thought that kinda sucks, if not bite a lil'.
...
Why can't zombies get any love?
Just imagine the dialogue.

"You're not like other guys. They only care about my body..."
"Braaiiiiiinssss."
"That's why I love you. You care about what's important."
"Braaaaaiiiinnnnsssss."

So yea, I think I'm just brain dead from 3-job days over the weekend.

And here's a re-post for the non-Myspace masses.

And then there’s an ideal first date.

For those that missed out on the announcement:
Reggie signed up for an online dating site.

Damn you peer pressure.
At the least, this should lead to some fun stories.

Basic Info - Check
Quick personality test to give people a general look at you - Check
Interests - Check
Photos of self, at least one including a penguin in it and the teacup photo - Check
Personal description asking ladies to at least cover my 4 main points of interest - Check
Description of ideal first date - ???

It's been a lil' over two weeks since I setup this profile an' I still find myself blanking when it comes to filling out this lil' tidbit.

I mean, what is my ideal first date?
Should it involve pussy?
There are cat lovers out there.
Saying that, I'm not sure how seriously people would take these ideas.

The following suggestions assume I have the same unlimited resources found in romantic comedies and/or find someone willing.

Plan 1: You get captured by an evil sorcerer for an unspecified reason (probably laundry) and I come to your rescue riding in on a blaze of glory with my fierce attack giraffe.

Plan 2 : Hear it. Think about it. Savor it. Pet rock farming.

Plan 3: Embark on a journey to find out where in the world is Carmen Sandiego.

Plan 4: We head downtown. I play ukulele or guitar. You sing or provide harmonies. We take our earnings from the hat then proceed to a coffee shop where we talk about the good times when we were in the same band.

Plan 5: Fighting the good fight against gingivitis.

Plan 6: Playing "Where's your other hand?"

Plan 7: Glare at each other from opposite ends of the table while we text our friends about how wonderful the date is going.

Plan 8: Strip Dodgeball.

Plan 9: Get together and brainstorm a pie chart for how our time together could be put to better use.

Realistically, my first date usually involves some place with non-alcoholic beverages where we can feel each other out.
Mentally.
Shame on you people for thinking otherwise.

Although, I am tempted to leave this for my description:
DVD from Blockbuster & some McDonalds drive-thru.
Play your cards right, I might even super size your meal.

For now, I'm just gonna keep the description as is.
All the e-mails I receive keep me busy during downtime.

Depends on the lady.
I'm customizable like that.
(this is actually filler until I get more time to work on it)
-----------------------------

300+ posts here an' no more counter to see how many people have viewed this.
You made me sad Zcounter.
Very sad.
Even in my pants.

Consider this another filler post while I edit writings an' stories.

I prefer not to talk about religion or politics.
It's a great way to affect relationships.
Usually in a negative way.

This'll probably be the closest I'll get to mentioning something politically related on this blog unless something sparks a fire in me.

I share this finding because I found it funny.

It's official.
I've got myself an online dating profile due to peer pressure.

So for today's filler post you get the nifty results of a lil' personality quiz they have you take.
I agree with most of it.

Self-Confidence

As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent.

The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it’s likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions—you rarely regret things you’ve done in the past and are not embarrassed easily.

Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it’s very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities.

Family Orientation

As someone who is oriented to familial matters, you value the company of family-members and domestic life. If you have children already, you enjoy spending time with them very much and work hard to be a good parent. If you don’t have children, you very much desire having children in the future. And your preference for cooking and entertaining guests at home will likely ease the transition into parenthood.

You take pride in maintaining and cultivating a healthy family and work hard to achieve this. This natural tendency is easily illustrated by your preference for doing things around the house as opposed to going out to clubs and restaurants.

What really sets you apart from people that are low in family orientation is that you know how to manage your frustrations and work well on your own. This means that you are well-equipped to manage a family without letting all the work that is involved wear you down. However, as someone with strong family values, all the work that is involved in maintaining a tidy home and well-stocked kitchen might occasionally make it difficult for you to finish everything that you need to do.

Self-Control

The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate.

As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you’re given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level.

Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it’s possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to “stay within the lines.” Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring.

Openness

As someone high in openness, you have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. Indeed, it’s likely that you are easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of your openness is your emotional insight; that is, you probably have good access to and awareness of your own emotions.

Another aspect of the openness dimension is the tendency to think about abstract concepts and ideas. This thinking style may take the form of artistic and metaphorical use of language, and/or music composition or performance. Thus, it is likely that, either in your work or spare time, you enjoy activities that get your “creative juices” flowing.

Your tendency to be open-minded can have advantages and disadvantages. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your openness makes it easier for you to identify new ways to solve problems that might not be very obvious to people that are not as open as you are. In contrast, you may be bored easily in situations that lack high amounts of intellectual stimulation. In such cases, you might have difficulty excelling on projects that do not provide much stimulation or require much creative thinking.

Easygoingness

Easygoingness refers to one's ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to “take things as they come” and enjoy having a good time. However, being high in easygoingness also has the potential to produce stress in a number of ways. For example, you may find it difficult to complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. In this way, being high in easygoingness cannot only make your life difficult, but also the lives of the people around you. Another potential problem with being too high in easygoingness is that it can provide you with gratification in the short-term, but in the long-term provide undesirable consequences.

High easygoingness, even when not seriously destructive, may also diminish your effectiveness at work, for example. You may find it aversive and difficult to put in all the effort that may sometimes be needed to effectively accomplish certain tasks. For this reason, your colleagues might view you as forgetful and unfocused.

How does your personality affect your love life?

With the strong degree of self-confidence that you possess, it’s no surprise that you get along well with most people. Indeed, it’s self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. For this reason, you shouldn’t have much difficulty in romance, at least not initially. Your social skills will likely help relieve any anxiety your romantic partners might have on those first few dates. However, over time, the high standards that you have for yourself could potentially frustrate your partner.

Given how much you value family life, you probably get along best with people who share your values and beliefs. In fact, it’s likely that you maintain close connections with members of your immediate and distant family. For this reason, you would probably be most satisfied in a romantic relationship with someone who also values domestic life.

Being in a relationship with someone who enjoys going out to parties and staying-up late at night might be fun, at least initially; yet it’s likely that you will find this tiring over time. Thus, it might be easier and more satisfying for you to develop a long-lasting relationship with a person who also enjoys spending time at home and desires starting a family. On first dates, perhaps you might suggest to your partner that the two of you spend a quiet night having dinner at one of your respective homes instead of going out to a restaurant or club.

As someone who is more relaxed than most people, you likely get along with most people quite well. Chances are that your friends and colleagues perceive you as lively, fun to be with, and good-humored. When it comes to romance, you’ll likely be attracted to most people. However, your free-spirited nature might make being in a relationship with a person that is more rigid than you difficult because you might perceive the person as being too uptight and controlling.

Your openness probably makes it easy for you to respect and appreciate people that are different from you. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, your openness might make it difficult for you to tolerate people that cannot appreciate diversity as much as you. Therefore, you may be happiest in serious relationships with people that share your open-mindedness. But, your openness might occasionally cause a certain degree of dependency on your end because you may be so open that you easily adopt the preferences and habits of your partners and gradually relinquish things that make you so unique.